a letter to myself


Just after New Year’s, we got test results that confirm my Lyme diagnosis. Bummer! I began treatment and all is going well, especially since I don’t have any physical symptoms from the illness (and let’s keep it that way!). In the days after getting the news, a million things were running through my head. I started writing some of them down. So yes, I’m publicizing my habit of talking to myself.

These are things I don’t want you to forget. You went through a hard spell, and there will be more icky days like those in the future, I’m sure. While you’re bobbing up and down emotionally, a bit of light, hope, and perspective will help. I mean, do I know you or do I know you? Listen up.

First of all, you have to know the dreams you and Brad have for your future are still there. God is still the dream maker and the dream fulfiller, and He is still crafting a future for both of you.

Sorrow isn’t bad–it has its place. This is where healing begins; this is where He meets us. But don’t fall in love with sorrow or with the feeling that it makes you special somehow. Instead, fall in love with the Comforter who catches your tears.

Remember the lost feeling you have when you don’t read the Bible or spend time praying and reflecting. Even better, remember the peace reading the scriptures gives you. Remember the joy in encouraging Brad with what you’ve read. Remember what a privilege it is to have access to those words.

Keep losing yourself in worship. God uses it to strip you down and make you vulnerable and ready for refinement. Keep allowing Him to use that time in that way. It’s ok to cry in front of people because you’re in the throne room of God, so it’s not about you or them, it’s about Him.

You have an awesome husband. Probably the world’s best. And you get the honor of praying for him, rejoicing with him, laughing with him, and helping him. Your attitude can steer his attitude. Because you love him, keep yourself in prayer so you can be the support and the joy he needs. Yes, that’s a big deal and it’s a big responsibility. But it’s all kinds of wonderful, too. Keep loving that role and loving him. And seriously, do the dishes for him more often. He does them a lot and you do them, like, never.

Yes, your job is relatively meaningless and sometimes a little silly. Embrace it. You need a little bit of the wackadoo in your life.

God hasn’t forgotten about you. You don’t have it the worst out of everyone in the world.

Never forget you are the Lord’s dear one and you are never out of His grip.

And remember these:

O Lord, remember earnestly my affliction and my misery, my wandering and my outcast state, the wormwood and the gall. My soul has them continually in remembrance and is bowed down within me. But this I recall and therefore have I hope and expectation: It is because of the Lord’s mercy and lovingkindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness. The Lord is my portion or share, says my living being (my inner self); therefore will I hope in Him and wait expectantly for Him.
Lamentations 3: 19-24 (Amplified)

But as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.’
1 Corinthians 2:9

 And finally, get excited. God’s remedy is coming.




  1. Alison

    This is so incredibly beautiful and such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing. Will continue to pray for you and Brad.

  2. Mom

    Oh, darling…

  3. Kristine

    I’m crying. I relate in a different yet similar way. You are a beautiful writer! Thank you for blessing me with your gift.

  4. shanna

    please write a book.


  1. honey&salt » Archive » lyme update - [...] check in with our (least) favorite borrelia, shall we? Back in January, I received my positive Lyme test results.…

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *