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By the shadow of morning, I’m making cornmeal mush just the way my dad taught me. Pour cornmeal and a bit of water into a measuring cup and stir it round and round until there aren’t any lumps. Then boil salt and water in a pan. Quickly, pour in the cornmeal mixture and stir and marvel at how quickly it becomes “mush.” Top with maple syrup. There is no other way.

I carry my bowl to the table and pick up reading where I left off last night.

Millions of Christians live with a low-grade feeling of guilt for not openly commending Christ by their words. They try to persuade themselves that keeping their noses morally clean is a witness to Christ. The problem with this notion is that millions of unbelievers keep their noses morally clean. Christians will–and should–continue to feel bad for not sharing their faith. Christ is the most glorious person in the world. His salvation is infinitely valuable. Everyone in the world needs it. Horrific consequences await those who do not believe on Jesus. By grace alone we have seen him, believed on him, and now love him. Therefore, not to speak of Christ to unbelievers, and not to care about our city or the unreached peoples of the world is so contradictory to Christ’s worth, people’s plight, and our joy that is sends the quiet message to our souls day after day: This Savior and this salvation do not mean to you what you say they do.

(From When the Darkness Will Not Lift by John Piper)

I knew it. I knew all my questions about who Jesus is and why it’s so hard to talk about him and why, if I love him and believe in him, am I not bearing fruit of souls saved come down to a kernel of unbelief in my heart. Can I really say I love anyone I haven’t told about him? Or do I love their acceptance more? Does this Savior and this salvation mean to me what I say they do?

I’m chewing on that question this morning.

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